


Stiles is All That.

by EverGreenUrsa



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Curses and spells, Fem Stiles, M/M, sterek, witches suck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:16:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverGreenUrsa/pseuds/EverGreenUrsa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shenanigans occur after Stiles gets cursed by a band of no good witches.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Morning

The morning sun came with the blaring screech of his alarm clock. Stiles had never totally been a morning person, always preferring the peace of mornings where he could sleep in. Today was one he had desperately wished was one where he could sleep in, now more than ever since the soreness left over from the previous night’s events was still causing his muscles to ache. Witches freaking sucked, with their spells and turning people into frogs, not that anyone was turned into a frog but Stiles enjoyed the idea of Jackson being turned into a fat old hop-toad. He smiled at himself for his own cleverness, he should really do stand-up he’d be freaking hilarious.

Rolling out of bed, practically falling who was he kidding, eyes still shut from the residual sleep plaguing them he made his way to his bathroom for his typical morning routine. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes and going to grab his toothbrush he got a good look at his reflection and what he saw he was not expecting. His eyes found themselves, warm whiskey amber, bright and intrigued but also terrified by the rest of him. His messy mop of hair was at least 18 inches longer than it had been last night. The harsh lines and angles of his face had been rounded out slightly and there were two things on his chest that were not there the night before. As if on cue his hands immediately grabbed and groped the offensive mounds of flesh new to his once very male, now not so much, body.

Feeling the firm squeeze of his own hands all he could mutter in his new found voice. “Shit. Oh no, I need to pee.” He looked down at where his little friend used to be, than back to the mirror with the unfamiliar face. “How do?”

*             *             *

After a round of Google-fu involving extensive research on women’s health and good cleaning habits he tried to call Deaton, who was surprise of surprises out of town for the week. That’s how he found himself, or is it herself now, walking out to the Jeep. He needed to talk to his dad, or was it she needed to talk to her dad? Well if he still thinks he’s a guy and feels like a guy without the anatomy than he was a guy right? Whatever we’re going to say yes for this one. Anyways his dad needed to know about this otherwise Stiles was going to be in a whole lot more trouble than he was already in. He didn’t know how long this was going to be a thing and his dad needed to know, he couldn’t miss school and he couldn’t be homeless. Thankfully the werewolves were already out of the proverbial closet and Sheriff Stilinski had been surprisingly supportive once he got over the initial anger and shock of the entire scenario.

He made sure to text his dad an S.O.S.

**TO Dad: Coming to see you, couldn’t go to school, you’ll see why, please don’t freak.**

**FROM Dad: Okay that doesn’t make me feel at ease at all.**

**TO Dad: Just stay there, I’ll be there in a minute.**

The drive was short and the entire time Stiles was biting his nails and bouncing his leg, still it had been a short drive and now he was standing in front of the police department scared crap-less. He walked in slowly and made his way to the back which he knew wouldn’t work out because he didn’t look like him anymore.

“Excuse me miss, can I help you?” Deputy Parish said as he walked up.

_This is just what I need right now._

“Yes, I came to see Sheriff Stilinski, I’m family.” Stiles said in a bell like voice that was utterly foreign to his ears.

Parish nodded. “I’ll let him know you’re here, uh…” he trailed off with an inquisitive tone that let Stiles know he had to give a name of some sort. Shit, what should he say? Not Claudia that would destroy his dad. Still he needed something that would sound familiar, oh god why didn’t he just text his dad from the car? It would have been so much easier that way, no muss, no fuss, no fake names. Shit. He tried to think quickly what his name would have been had he been born a girl, he knew his dad had told him, he was amused by how similar it was to his actual name.

“Gemma.” He blurted when he finally got the name in his head and Parish smiled and walked to the Sherrifs office. Stiles could see his dad through the windows, he looked out and at Stiles who simply waved awkwardly. His dad waved him in and at that he bolted through the department like greased lightning. As he walked into his dads office Parish walked out giving Stiles what looked like a once over, and oh my god creepy. When he was safely in and Parish was safely out Stiles closed and locked the door.

He turned on his heel and looked right at his father, probably looking like Bambi stuck in the headlights of a semi. “Okay, where to start. I woke up like this, I mean I have long hair and boobs and am missing some essential equipment other places and I have NO CLUE how to fix it.”

His dad just stared, glancing between Stiles and the phone, oh crap he was a second away from calling the loony bin on his own son.

“Johnathan Michael Stillinski don’t you dare call Eichen House and have me committed!” he says practically ripping the phone line out of the wall he yanks the phone away so hard.

“It’s Stiles, I mean well not like you know him, obviously.” Stiles says gesturing to the obvious differences again.

“Gemma, is it?” his dad began but Stiles stopped him before he could keep going.

“No my actual name is Genim, my mom, your wife Claudia Marie Stillinski, named me after her father. Gemma would have been my name had I been born a girl. I recently told you that my best friend Scott McCall is a werewolf and you and his mom have been bonding over that a great deal, which FINALLY by the way. Derek Hale is Scotts and by proxy my alpha, even though I am nothing more than a squishy human who happens to sling the occasional spell. All of that is exactly why I am standing before you looking the way I do, also when I get home I am finding your not so secret stash of snack cakes and throwing them all out and serves you right for not believing it’s me.” Stiles said, trying to cross his arms but not really able to get comfortable because, well boobs.

They stood in silence for what seemed like ages, his dad staring at him like the hamster just fell off the wheel and didn’t bother climbing back on. Stiles tapped his foot on the floor for a few moments when that didn’t work he flailed his arms slightly trying to get his dad to respond in some way.

“Well say something please.” Stiles finally demanded, which seemed to bring the Sheriff back to the land of the living and look up at Stiles with wide eyes.

“Holy crap.” Was all he muttered.

“Yeah no kidding. I tried calling Deaton but he’s apparently gone for the next week and so I am stuck like this until then, because I don’t think the witches we encountered will be willing to reverse their own handiwork. So yeah we need to figure everything out now.” Stiles said with a somewhat defeated tone.

“I’ll call the school and say that you are out sick, tell them it’s the Flu.” his Dad said.

“Why didn’t I think of that?” Stiles said to himself, usually he was the one to come up with all the brilliant plans.

“Well I think you’ve been a little pre-occupied. Hi this is Sheriff John Stilinski, I’m Stiles Stilinksi’s father. Yeah, he came down with the flu, he won’t be in school for the next week or so. Oh no that’s fine, his friends can bring his homework to him. Yes thank you, you too. Buh-bye.” His dad had always been quick and efficient when it came to these types of things sometimes Stiles actually got jealous by how cool and collected he seemed to be in most situations.

When he hung up the phone his dad looked at Stiles, probably sizing up the situation. He let out a heavy sigh and pulled out his wallet. He took out his credit card and handed it to Stiles.

“What’s this?” Stiles asked as he took the card from his dad.

“If you’re going to be stuck like that than you may as well get some appropriate clothing. Don’t go crazy though please.” He said holding his hand out as if that were some magical signal for restraining ones self.

Stiles sat there dumbfounded, was his dad actually telling him to go shopping. Wait, as a woman, shopping as a woman, for a woman, for himself, herself. Oh this was going to be a very long week.


	2. Hurricane Lydia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping kind of sucks when you don't know what your looking for, that's why you call in the cavalry.

“How does any woman get any shopping done!?” He grumbled to himself as he looked at each of the tags, each a different number with a series of letters next to. “It’s be easier reading Ancient Egyptian, certainly more informative. Like what does half of this mean?” After only 10 minutes in the women’s department at Macy’s he, she, or whatever. STILES went to the food court. Needing a healthy serving of curly fries and a distraction from his apparent ineptitude in the world of women’s fashion. He needed to call a professional, and that scared him to death. He sent the text quickly before he could think better of it and within seconds he was informed that help would be there in the form of a redhead, a blonde, and a brunette.

As Stiles waited, enjoying his batch of rather exceptional curly fries he pondered the events that led up to this particular predicament. They had tracked down a coven of witches performing rituals in the preserve. Everything was going great, at least so they thought, that was when one of the less reasonable witches started firing spells at them. Stiles dove out of the way as best as he could, and cast a few defensive spells he had read about. He didn’t even see the spell hit him, but according to all the werewolves it had. Derek, being the alpha that he was freaked out and it took everyone to stop him from killing the girl. The coven agreed to bind her powers after that incident and everyone went home seemingly unscathed. Derek had done his usual check all over Stiles to find the inevitable wound because he’s human and that’s what happens to humans during supernatural hijinks.

Well live and learn.

His phone buzzed violently, breaking him from the memory of the night before.

**FROM LYDIA: Where are you, you said the food court, we’re here and can’t find you.**

**TO LYDIA: I’m here, just so you know I don’t look the same as I did yesterday.**

**FROM LYDIA: So that spell did end up doing something.**

On point like the genius she is, as always. As he texted her he searched the food court for them and found them easily enough. It wasn’t hard considering how few people were actually at the mall right now.

**TO LYDIA: Yeah. Turn around, I’m next to the Pizza place in the booth on the right. I’m wearing my red hoodie.**

He looked up and saw them turn and look to find him, when they still hadn’t seen him, not surprising really since they were looking for a gangly youth not the vixen he had been turned into. He had taken a moment to appraise his looks in one of the many stores and he had decided that he was hot as a girl. He was somewhere between Allison and Lydia, a respectable level of hotness if he did say so himself. Stiles stood and waved them down, that was what got their attention and each girl looked at a complete loss for words.

He walked up to them hands shoved into his pockets and eyes shifting. “Heeeeey guuuys.” He said in a timid sing song voice.

“This is not what I was expecting.” Was Lydia’s assessment of the situation.

“Yeah, definitely not.” Erica agreed. Allison was completely speechless.

“Okay, well you aren’t walking around in that or anything else you might own for as long as you are part of my gender.” Lydia said finitely.

Stiles couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips. “Lydia, my dad told me not to go crazy. I just need the essentials, you know to keep things in check.” He said gesturing to the two additions to his chest.

Lydia shook her head at the statement. “We’ll go to Victoria’s Secret first. You really do need a bra.”

“For real Batman, or is it Batgirl now, who thought you’d be stacked!” Erica said in an appraising tone.

“They’re only what 34 C’s.” Lydia said looking to Allison for an answer. She seemed to have gotten over the initial shock but she still looked at him with her mouth slightly ajar. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Hey, that’s still pretty damn good. Way to go Stiles.” Erica said as they made their way to Victoria’s Secret first.

*             *             *

Turns out Stiles in his new state was a 32 C, the girls where only a little off in their appraisal, but now Stiles had a bra, and everything was secure. Thank god. The only problem was that now the boobs were up, and out for all the world to know about, thankfully his shirt was baggie and loose. However at that very moment Lydia had hauled them all into Macy’s and she immediately grabbed a dress off the rack and handed it to Stiles.

“Go try that on and we’ll find some other stuff that will work for you.” She stalked away with an almost deadly intent. Stiles looked between Allison and Erica who both had a bit of a mischievous smirk on their faces.

“Oh crap.” He sighed as he turned and walked into the dressing room leaving behind a peel of laughter from each girl. When he got into the dressing room and put the dress on and looked at it in the mirror. “Holy shit. I look good.” He said eyes wide and a little taken back by his appearance. “God this is too weird.” He muttered to himself, awkward and gangly he could handle, not this.

“Well, we want to see.” Lydia commanded from just outside. He walked out and showed them. Erica and Allison liked it, but Lydia hated the color. They threw him back into the dressing room with a mountain of clothes. Stiles tried on everything they handed him, shirts, blouses, skirts, shorts (which really should not be considered shorts), jeans, and shoes. In time the mountain had been widdled down to a few items. Enough to give him a sensible wardrobe. Most of the items that were picked out, were things that Erica could also wear, turns out they were pretty much the same sizes. Stiles was actually a little happy about that, he didn’t want to buy a whole new wardrobe just to throw it away in a week, but he was also painfully aware that this whole thing might not go away in a week and that kind of terrified him.

“Next hair.” Lydia said matter of factly, catching Stiles completely off guard.

“I’m sorry what?” Stiles asked not sure he understood completely.

“You’re getting your hair done I made an appointment for you while you were trying things on, and then we’ll get you some basic make up stuff base, lipstick, lip-gloss, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara you know the essentials.” Lydia said.

“Lydia, I’m not transitioning. This was done to me, I did not ask for it. Why do I have to get all that?” Stiles whined as they pulled him to the hair salon.

“Because I’m sure that it has crossed your mind that Deaton might not have an immediate solution and therefore this might take a bit longer than just one week. If that’s the case you need to look and play the part so as to not attract suspicion. Even tomboys wear a little makeup sometimes.” She said as she sat him down in the waiting area of the salon. He grumbled at this, he hadn’t actually thought of any of that, he had been banking on Deaton having an insta-fix. The more he thought about it the more he realized how much of a fools hope that actually was, he had never known Deaton to have an insta-fix, ever.

His phone buzzed, pulling him out of his thoughts for the second time in the last two hours.

**FROM SOURWOLF: You okay? Isaac said you weren’t at school.**

**TO SOURWOLF: Don’t worry, I’m not in agonizing pain or dead. Couldn’t go to school, probably won’t be there the rest of the week. It’s no biggie though, so don’t worry about it.**

When he put his phone back down Lydia hauled him up and walked him to the shampoo area where she introduced him to her stylist.

“Stefan, I want you to meet…” Lydia looked to Stiles.

“Gemma.” He added trying to make it sound seamless and unprompted.

“I need you to make Gemma look fabulous.” Lydia said, batting her eyelashes at Stefan. In a flurry of hair products, water and a flash of scissors Stiles was sitting in front of the mirror with a killer hairdo and he was in awe of how much different, how much better he looked, after a simple haircut. Lydia took care of the hair cut, and dragged them all to what she claimed to be the best make up counter in the mall. For the second time in thirty minutes Stiles had to sit down while some stranger started to do things to his head, well in this case his face. She did what she called a heavy eye, and stressed that you can’t ever do both a heavy eye and a heavy lip to Stiles. Something about looking like a five dollar hooker. If Stiles had his way he would never look at any makeup ever again. That made Lydia roll her eyes, she still paid for the makeup and told Stiles that if he didn’t put make-up on every day like her than she would do it for him.

They parted ways and Stiles thanked them for their help. He was in better condition than he had started that morning, everything would be fine, he could play girl until Deaton showed up. He would need to get started on his own research though tonight, because what if Deaton didn’t have anything Stiles needed a plan to get back his old self, gangly limbs and all. He made his way through the department store he parked near and he was almost out when in a fit of light distraction he ran into a brick wall.

Wait, no, not a brick wall. It was Derek. Derek throw-me-against-the-nearest-wall-and-screw-me-standing Hale. Here Stiles was minus a penis and plus two C-cups. What was his life?


	3. Sourwolf's a Flirtatious Curly Fry Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Shop-a-ganza with the Girls, Stiles bumps into the Sourwolf, feels and fluffiness ensues.

Great, great, great, great, great. Of course Derek was here, what a perfect end to a perfect god damned day. Think Stilinski, how do you downplay a sex change? Because lord knows Derek is going to freak out and go all super angry wolf man. God, he has a nice butt, NO not going there right now Stiles, BAD STILES. Stiles was completely lost in his own thoughts when Derek turned around and looked at him, her, god that is so confusing.

As he turned to face Stiles he spoke and Stiles was positive that things were not going to end well. “Stiles I thought you couldn’t go to school so why…oh!? I’m sorry miss, I thought you were someone I know.” Derek said as he turned a look of complete and utter confusion on his face, at least that’s what it looked like to Stiles and he had gotten pretty good at deciphering the Sourwolfs eyebrownese. It was a skill that Stiles had been proud of developing, because it kept him from pushing the boundaries too much and it helped him to understand Derek, better than anyone else in the pack in fact.

Stiles stumbled slightly. “Hey it’s all good, no injury no foul.” Stiles says, managing to smile at Derek even though he is terrified, nervous, turned on, and a thousand other things all at once and he knows that Derek can smell it all so let’s add to that completely and utterly mortified, because embarrassed is not a strong enough word for this new found desire for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Derek smiles back and leans against a nearby counter, his adorable bunny teeth poking out and oh my god Stiles has never had that look directed at him before, he had only seen it once and that was when Derek was trying to distract that Deputy so Stiles could sneak into his Dads office, now he knows why it worked because that look was absolutely debilitating. “Hi.” Was all that Derek said, but it was all he needed to say, the subtext was all there and oh my god Derek Hale was flirting with Stiles what the hell.

At a complete loss for words for the first time ever Stiles just stood there mouth agape and floundering for some witty quip that would get him out of this all to horrifying predicament. Here he was and Derek was flirting with him, which was something that Stiles had always secretly wanted but now that it had happened his heart had sunk. The only reason it was happening at all was because 1. He was a girl at the moment, and 2. He was done up like a runway model thanks to the last few hours and Lydia Martin. Derek was flirting with him and all Stiles wants is that familiar glare, the one that ironically felt like home and heart. “Gotta go.” Was all Stiles managed out in a quick half whisper before he wove his way around and past the werewolf and man of his dreams. Holy crap, Stiles had it bad.

It didn’t take long for him to get back to his Jeep, he felt a warm sting at his eyes, holy crap he was crying over Derek Hale and his unequivocal heterosexuality. What was his life that he always fell absolutely head over heels for the people that wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. He was so confused, couldn’t Derek smell that it was him? Was he even trying, he obviously thought it was Stiles before he turned around, did Stiles really look that different as a woman? He had looked in a mirror in one of the department stores and looked for his old self in the new. All of his moles and freckles were still there, his eyes were still the same color, his lips the same shade of pink, his nose still slightly upturned and wide at the nostrils, Stiles thought he didn’t look that different. Apparently he was wrong.

He peeled out of the parking lot fast, faster than was probably safe, but he didn’t care he wanted to get home and get his research done and get this entire thing over with. He wanted Derek to look at him like he used to, familiar anger was better than foreign flirtatiousness. The drive back to his place was fast and less than safe, he was surprised no one pulled him over and also thankful because the picture on his license and his face did not match in any way and he was honestly a little surprised that it hadn’t occurred to him before now how big a problem that might end up being.

He gathered the various bags from his jeep and made his way into the house. He made his way upstairs and into his room, he placed the bags on the floor and crossed to his computer and pulled up google. He was about to begin his searches, he had a few different ones in his head. First he would try finding the spell itself, than he would maybe seek out friendly magic practitioners near the Beacon Hills area see if maybe they had any idea what had happened to him. His second plan was a little more complicated because he would have to weed out all the nutjobs that was going to be fun. He began to type at a speed that would make The Flash proud when “I knew it was you.”

“HOLY NUTBALLS SHIT ON A STICK!” he jumped and turned to look at Derek who was barely holding back his laughter, asshole. That repressed laughter was all Stiles needed to start throwing the various sundries on his desk at Derek. He was at the end of his rope and he did not need Derek making fun of him, teasing him, or scaring him for his own twisted amusement. “Fuck you, you wolfie bastard, the only reason I look like this is because of you and all your wolfie shenanigans and I don’t need you flirting with me and then scaring me shitless when you figure out its me and you want to come here and make sure I don’t get the wrong impression, guess what I get it I have for a few years, no one wants Stiles. MESSAGE RECEIVED LOUD AND CLEAR!” Stiles grabbed something that felt particularly heavy and threw it with all his strength.

Of course Derek caught it without flinching, a paperweight as it turned out, he just crossed back to the desk and closed in on Stiles. Reaching behind Stiles he put the paperweight back on the desk and Stiles could feel the heat of Derek’s breath ghost its way across his skin and Stiles knees trembled slightly from their proximity. “First of all, I came here to ask you why you told Lydia, Erica, and Allison before me. Second, I always flirt with you, you’re just too dense to notice half the time. Third I’m sorry for scaring you, I was just worried.” Holy shit, Stiles brain had stopped functioning after the second declaration of Derek’s, who apparently flirted with him all the time. Stiles went back through the last few interactions he had with Derek. The only thing that actually comes to mind was the last time they had all gone out as a pack. They had gone to a diner and they had fun, all of them talking and eating and generally having fun. Derek had cracked a smirk here and there, so Stiles had counted it as a successful evening. He remember Derek reaching onto his plate at the end of the evening and stealing some of his curly fries, something even Scott had never dared to do. “What, you were stealing food off my plate all night.” Derek had said with a smirk and a flash of his eyes and all Stiles had done was laugh and push his plate closer to Derek. That was totally flirting, how had he even missed it, it wasn’t the first time they had done something like that in fact stuff like that had been happening for weeks.

“STILES.” Derek said loudly jostling Stiles by his shoulders. His face a myriad of emotions, jesus how does he do that, the main emotion being concern.

“Sorry, the hamster fell of the wheel.” Stiles muttered pointing to the side of his head.

“Well that’s a first.” Derek said smiling his bunny tooth smile, god that’s an unfair advantage if Stiles had ever seen one.

“Shut up. Why?” Stiles said asking the only question that seemed to come to his head, why in god’s name would Derek ever flirt with him? Why would he even want to? “Why would you even flirt with me, man or woman?”

Derek stood there, giving him the ‘you’re a dumbass’ eyebrow that Stiles was all too familiar with. He stepped close bringing his hand up to cradle the side of Stiles face. “Because you Stiles, are by far the most exhausting, annoying, frustrating, loud mouthed…”

“Okay stop telling me how great I am.” Stiles said trying to interrupt Derek mid statement, but the werewolf powered on.

“…clumsy, unintentionally and occasionally intentionally funny, kind, intelligent, and beautiful creature that I have ever met. You smell, sound and feel like home to me, and I am pretty sure that you Stiles are my mate.” Derek said a glint in his eye that Stiles might consider to be affection and holy shit that had Stiles swooning.

Derek began to lean into Stiles like he was about to, oh god he was gonna kiss Stiles. Except Stiles wasn’t Stiles, and he was not going to let his first kiss with Derek Hale happen while he was under the effects of this god damned spell.

“Wait, hold on their big guy.” Stiles said as he pulled his face back a little and Derek got this look on his face like he had just been rejected. The familiar icy stoicism staring to fall into place on his face. Stiles grabbed Derek’s hand and squeezed. “I just want to be in my own body when you do that the first time. Is that okay?”

Derek stood there for a minute rolling what Stiles had just said over in his mind a few times before he dared to ask. “So you do want to…?” Derek didn’t finish, not sure he could handle rejection if he said it all aloud. Flirting with Stiles was easy, telling him how he felt and what he wanted no. It was easier to answer Stiles if he asked rather than say anything unprompted, he didn’t know why though.

All Stiles could do was nod emphatically at that, yes he wanted all the things with Derek, but before he could even entertain those thoughts he wanted his goddamn body back. He had nodded so fast and quick that hair ended up in his mouth as a result and he was trying to get it out, spitting and pulling at it how did girls do it? He looked up when the last strand had been removed from his mouth and Derek just stood there laughing his ass off.

“Oh shut up you asshole.”


	4. Day 2

Morning had come with a new feeling of electric excitement, Stiles could barely contain his smile. He walked downstairs to see his father at the kitchen table waiting. “Morning!” Was all Stiles said as he made his way to the coffee machine and filled a cup of the golden beverage of the gods. “So what is the plan?” his dad asked, clearly in cop mode.

“Well at the moment the best I have is still Deaton, it is the first time my Google-Fu has failed me. I mean I came across a few things that looked promising but I need to do more checking. I may have to go to the book store for better reference materials. Maybe an Occult shop I know the next town over. The sooner I figure this out, the sooner I can fix it.”

The Sheriff nodded at that, getting up to grab his gun and jacket.

“I’ve got a double tonight okay. Be home by midnight please, and back in town by nine at the latest.”

Stiles saluted his dad prompting an emphatic eye roll.

When his dad left Stiles helped himself to some tasty breakfast nummies and made his way up to his room. He looked suspiciously at various clothing that Lydia, Erica and Allison had helped him (insisted he) get. Toying with the idea that he could just go out in his normal clothes. Then again knowing his luck he would run into Lydia and she would drag him to some sort of cell god knows where and refuse to let him out unless he agreed to dress appropriately. Not really willing to tempt fate and risk anything worse happening to him. So just in case, he begrudgingly got dressed in some of his new clothes.

First of all, bras are a pain in the ass to put on, who would have thought. The clothes that he thought were maybe the most casual looking and least constrictive were still tight as hell and felt slightly exposed. Then there were the shoes, all the girls had gotten him where heeled shoes. The smallest being 2 ½ inches, they were not easy to walk in, in fact Stiles wondered how any woman anywhere got anywhere wearing these torture devices. He would have put his converse on but by the time he had thought about it he was already downstairs, which he had gotten down without falling by some miracle, he was not going to try going back up just yet. He was able to make it to his car without falling, he stumbled a few times but he made it. He got in his car and pulled out his phone and texted Erica, Lydia, and Allison.

**TO ALLISON, ERICA, and LYDIA: Did none of you think about the fact that I have never once worn heels in my life?**

With the message sent he started the car and began his day of hunting down as much information as he could.

The drive to the bookstore was quick since it was near his house, he walked in and was immediately greeted by the guy behind the desk. Which was weird because the guy behind the counter never greeted him ever. He made his way straight to the occult and paranormal section of the store, which was upsettingly sparse and ended up being a glorious let down. They had a few books about Paganism and Witchcraft respectively, but they were mostly basic practitioning books with spells and rituals that didn’t get much more involved than calling the corners.

“Good Witchcraft for idiots. That’s exactly what this world needs.” He said under his breath. Wondering if the stupid bitch that had done this had started at her own local bookstore and picked up one of these books. He stood there mulling over her life and what could possibly lead her into the world of witchcraft, probably a shitty home life that wasn’t actually shitty but she thought it was and so her rebellion was witchcraft. He was making assumptions, painting her as his own personal Nancy Downs, but considering his current state he felt like he was allowed.

“Can I help you find anything?” Was said close by him, startling him out of his reverie he looked around to see the counter guy standing next to him. Stiles looked around him to see if there was someone else nearby, cause once again counter guy never came up to Stiles to see if he needed help. No one else was around though so he had to be talking to Stiles right.

“Uhm, no just browsing is all.” Stiles said trying to be non-chalant about being in the middle of the paranormal section.

“Well if you need anything be sure to come and find me okay.” Counter guy said stepping forward as his eyes drifted away from Stiles face somewhere south. Stiles looked down trying to see what the guy was looking at, was there a stain on his shirt? Wait, no, but there was cleavage there and oh my god the counter guy was totally creeping on him. Stiles looked up wide eyed and mouth agape in indignance. Sure enough the counter guy had that smile that said he knew he got caught and did not give two shits, in fact he looked kind of proud. Stiles did the only thing he could think of, and that was smack the guy as hard as he could across the face with his hand which happened to be holding a pretty thick book.

There was a loud thump as the book made contact and the guy fell into one of the book shelves knocking it over completely. People looked over, some laughed, some whispered to each other. “Let that be a lesson in why you don’t stare at a Female customer’s breasts asshole.” Stiles turned and walked out of the store without as much as a backwards glance. Never going back to that bookstore again.

*             *             *

The occult store in the next town ended up being way more helpful. He ended up finding a few different books on things that sounded useful. Books on Transposition, Transmutation, and one book that looked like it had survived three wars. The last book the owner seemed almost unwilling to sell, but it had a price tag and Stiles had the money and with the promise that it was just for research purposes and that great care would be taken the owner caved.

Feeling thoroughly prepared for a research extravaganza Stiles felt the need to feed his hunger for caffeine and curly fries. When he got back to Beacon Hills he made a quick pit stop at his favorite Diner and placed a to-go order. He was there for five minutes when he heard his name called out.

“Stiles.”

Turning to find the source his eyes landed on Scott. Wide eyed and confused. Scott, who Stiles had completely space cased on telling what was going on. Scott whose eyes went from wide and disbelieving to narrow and accusative? They looked accusative, but why he didn’t know why.

“Stiles?”

“Hey Scotty-Boy, how are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short I know, I have been wrestling my muses out.


	5. Chapter 5

“Okay so are you going to explain?” Scott asked when they finally got to Stiles house and up to his room. The accusative look in his eyes still very much present and Stiles was getting sick of it. Because he totally asked to get a last minute magical re-assignment. Yeah totally. He began to talk but came up short when he noticed the flickering southern glances that Scott kept making. Stiles took the two steps between them and with as much force as he could muster left an angry handprint on Scott’s cheek.

“Dude what the hell!” Scott said grabbing his face.

“I saw you and your pervy eyes, do not think that I didn’t.” Stiles said letting his hands fall to his hips. “I did not give you permission to ogle. So don’t, I feel weird enough without you constantly looking at my chest.” At Stiles admission Scott looked sheepish and stared intently at his feet.

“Sorry, it’s just weird. You’re a girl. You have, well you know” Scott said looking up at Stiles through his lashes gesturing to his chest region.

“Thank you, I am well aware. I am the one walking around in heels!” Stiles shouted. His patience starting to wane a little bit. Scott immediately looked down again. “Sorry, it’s only been a few days and I am so done with this.” Stile said starting to pace his room as he tends to do when the stress is starting to really get to him. He started to go on a bit of a tirade about stupid witches, stupid high-heels, stupid bra’s, and stupid werewolves that waited until the most inopportune moment to start flirting and expressing themselves and confusing the hell out of pubescent teens currently under problematic spells.

“Wait whoah, hold on, what was that last part Stiles?” Scott said standing in front of Stiles and holding him still by the shoulders.

“Huh?” Was all Stiles could say, he had kind of gotten insanely lost in his own thoughts.

“What about Derek flirting with you?” Scott said.

“Oh, uhm, yeah. That’s a thing.” Stiles said not really sure how to explain the situation.

“What’s a thing Stiles?” Scott asked eyes flashing mischievously.

“Uh, well you see, yeah we need to talk about that…” Stiles started muttering.

“Stiles, what is a thing?” Scott said.

“We are.” Came the familiar timber of Dereks voice. Both Scott and Stiles turned to look at Derek, Scott cracking the biggest grin ever. Stiles barely noticed, he was too busy taking in the perfection that was Derek Hale as he crawled through the window and walked towards Stiles. He was wearing an olive green Baseball Tee and dark jeans his eyes glimmering like stars as he smiled wide at Stiles. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Stiles smiled back his heart thumping loudly in his chest, it must have sounded obnoxious but all that Derek did was put his arm around Stiles waist and pull him close.

“HA, I KNEW IT!” Scott said fist-pumping slightly into the air and jumping a little bit into the air. “Ooooh Isaac owes me 20 bucks.”

This caught both Stiles and Derek’s attention.

“What do you mean that Isaac owes you 20 bucks?” Derek asked narrowing his eyes.

Scott blanched at that. Opening and closing his mouth a few times trying to figure out exactly how to say whatever it was he needed to say.

“Well you see, uhm the thing is, it’s kind of funny…” Scott struggled trying to explain himself.

“OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT HAVE A BET!” Stiles shouted. Connecting the dots rather quickly.

“Uhm, I wouldn’t call it a bet exactly.” Scott said glancing to the floor suddenly being very invested in his shoes.

“Oh and what would you call it?” Derek said, half amused half annoyed.

“A series of educated guesses on whether or not you two would get together and when with a monetary value placed on everyone’s guess.” Scott stated in a partial mumble.

Stiles eyes widened in a comic style. “Everyone, as in, the whole pack? You all made a bet on when we would get together?”

“When you say it like that you make it sound so…” Scott said. Looking anywhere but at Derek or Stiles. Apparently he was incapable of looking them in the eyes at the moment.

“Juvenile? Inappropriate? Low brow? Offensive? I could keep going Scott. I really can’t help being a little pissed off considering the fact that I know you know I’ve had a thing for Derek for a while. Or did you forget about our little bro pow-wow?” Stiles fumed.

“I also know that you knew how I felt Scott.” Derek said narrowing his eyes. “You all did.”

Stiles looked at Derek with a questioning look. He seemed to blush under Stiles inquisitive gaze. “Arousal is a very distinct smell. It’s not easy to cover, or ignore.”

“So you all had a very unfair advantage! Well that settles it. Whatever the winnings are will be generously donated to our first date by the winner.” Stiles stated matter of factly. Scott was about to argue but Stiles merely held his hand up. “Considering the only reason you are getting the money is because of me and Derek here, I think it only fair that we benefit from the bet as well. What do you think Sourwolf?”

Derek smiled a predatory grin. “I think that’s more than fair.”

“But…” Scott started.

“No butts! I do not want to hear it.” Stiles said and pinned Scott with an almost deadly glare. “Consider this payback for third grade when you announced to the entire class about my dancing along to the Spice World Movie finale. I still hear about it Scott.” Scott looked down again, he was doing that a lot tonight.

Derek turned an inquisitive eyebrow on Stiles. “Spice Wo…”

“DON’T, just don’t.” Stiles said holding up his hand to silence both Derek and Scott. He crossed to the shopping bag from this morning’s excursion picked it up and dumped it out on the bed. “Now both of you grab a book and start reading.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I'm so glad to be back. Finals really do a number on my muses you guys. Thank you for being patient with me you guys. I super appreciate you all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles looks back on the last few months and wonders why he can't fix this BS  
> BA Stiles and gratuitous feels.

****

They sat there for hours poring over the books that Stiles had found and still they came up completely empty. Stiles let out a frustrated sigh as his new hair fell forward again obstructing the page he was looking at with chocolate brown silk. He tucked it behind his ears for what felt like the 50th time that evening. “The one time I would welcome his frustrating platitudes and incoherent riddles, Deaton decides to up and leave.” Stiles said in a grating tone. His eyes hurt from the strain of reading as much as he had that day. The blurring around his vision was a clear signal that he needed to stop reading, but he was going to power through. That is until a certain sourwolf took the book from him, marking the page and closing it he set it on the desk.

Stiles was transfixed by the way Dereks hands flexed and twitched in the various motions they made. He had always noticed the way Derek handled everything gently, like he was hyper aware of the fact that he could rip that book in half like it was tissue. Stiles was confounded by these moments when Derek looked so soft and caring, for the longest time Stiles had only ever experienced the harsh temperament of the werewolf including the slamming into things and so on. Still he knew that there was more to Derek than the brooding belligerent jackass that he had been at the beginning. In the last few months they had all pushed through more than they could really wrap their heads around. Kanima’s, Alpha Packs, it had been a rough couple of months.

They had to hunt Erica and Boyd down, save them from the Alpha pack. It had been a really stressful situation and it didn’t help that Stiles had been the big gun on that one. That had been a fun conversation.

\---

_“How am I the Big Gun here?” Stiles asked frantically. Eyes wide with horror fixed on Derek who was stoic as ever._

_“You and Allison are the only ones who can break any Mountain Ash barriers that there might be. We may even need you for any spells that they might have in place.” Derek stated matter of factly._

_“But, I’m not Big Gun material! Allison is a Big Gun, literally and figuratively! Lydia even with the Banshee shriek she does. Me, I am the researching quirky sidekick with a few magic tricks up my sleeve when I am in a pinch. That in no way equates to Big Gun factory standards!” Stiles all but whined. They couldn’t let Erica or Boyd’s life ride on him._

_“I am the weak, defenseless, and squishy I cannot stress the squishiness of my existence, human. I’m not anyone’s Big Gun.” Stiles practically yelled, he was getting stressed over the mere prospect of it. Sure he could work a mountain ash circle and sure he could cast a few spells and charms, but he was in no way the game changer for a fight against an Alpha Pack._

_“Stiles!” Derek snapped, pulling Stiles out of an impending panic attack before it could happen. He looked at Derek whose eyes seemed soft and reassuring which was, well weird. “We need you for this, I need you for this.”_

_All Stiles could do was nod at him and start researching Big Gun spells._

_\--_

The night of the Erica & Boyd Rescue Mission, Stiles had been a bundle of nerves firing erratically, he shook violently from the adrenaline pushing itself through his system.

\--

_“You, Allison and Isaac are going to go in through the main doors while Scott and I break through the wall of the vault.” Derek said as he broke down the game plan. They had gone over it a thousand times and had argued about it many times. Stiles wasn’t fond of the idea of them all splitting up, but it made sense when he looked at it objectively. Attacking from two sides was smart, the frontal attack of two humans and a were would leave the Alpha’s careless and cocky. Logically the plan made sense, and was actually a very good plan, he still didn’t like it._

_Getting in had been easy and opening the vault had been uneventful. Erica and Boyd looked a little worse for wear but they still seemed okay. Erica was okay enough to make a sassy comment about the cavalry being late. There was a third person with them, a young woman with familiar bone structure, deep brown eyes and long brown hair. Stiles didn’t get a chance to ask when the familiar condescension of the female Alpha Kali broke their reunion to pieces._

_“Well, well. An Alpha sending his pack to do his work for him. He made killing you way too easy.” She said preparing to pounce at them._

_“Twierdza powietrza.” Stiles muttered and the air around her thickened and congealed into a wall as hard as granite. Her growl of annoyance was a little more than satisfying, if still a little terrifying._

_“I’ll rip you apart first.” The woman said growling low and menacing. At the threat the wolves closed rank around Stiles. Which, awwww he felt a twinge in his heart, they did care. Stiles had always felt a bit like an outsider when it came to this stuff, it’s part of the reason he inserted himself into everything. He wanted them to know he could be useful, he wanted to feel useful, to feel needed, to feel wanted. Still the wolfie backup didn’t really help him feel any less terrified of the woman. It wouldn’t have been a problem if Stiles wasn’t the type to talk, a lot, when he was scared._

_“I don’t really get this whole Alpha Pack thing. I mean the Alpha is supposed to be the leader of the group, and from what I know about Alpha’s, you guys aren’t really into the whole sharing is caring mentality. So why play Beta to Deucallions Alpha?” Stiles asked the sass strong in every word._

_The female Alpha snarled at that. “I’m not a Beta.”_

_“Exactly my point, you aren’t, so why are you acting like one. I mean it’s obvious that Deucallion is the leader of your island of misfit murderous Alpha’s. Which, for any logical mind, means the rest of you are Beta’s. You follow his psychotic lead if you will.” Stiles stated becoming more and more calm as the Alpha became more and more agitated._

_“We share the role of Alpha.” She snarled pushing against the effects of his spell, but his belief was firm and strong, she would need a lot more than she had to break through it._

_“Yeah, I don’t buy that one bit. Like I said sharing is intrinsically counter intuitive to the Alpha mentality. Are you sure the Deucallion isn’t just leading you on. Really when you think about it, it brings a whole new meaning to the phrase of the blind leading the blind.” Stiles yammered on._

_A soft self-assured chuckle came from somewhere behind the other female Alpha. Well this was going to shit fast. The blind wonder walked up behind the Female Alpha shaking his head in an amused fashion. Behind him and to the right were the mutant twins and to his left the tall angry werewolf version of Mister Clean._

_“I must say I have never seen someone, a.) Catch Kali off guard, and b.) Rile her up so much. Bravo.” Deucallion said a small smile twitching up his lips. Stiles would admit that the guy had a definite DILF vibe minus the whole murderous lunatic thing._

_“You should see me on too much Adderall and two Java Chip Frappuccino’s. I could piss the pope off.” Stiles snarked. His concept of self-preservation was well and truly gone by that point. Still his sass was not lost and Allison, Erica, Isaac and Boyd each laughed and the Stilesism._

_“Well as fun as this has been, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to put those three back in their cage, we aren’t done with them.” Deucallion said in a saccharine tone that dripped with danger._

_“No can do Stevie. You see they’ve been a long way from home for a while now, I think it’s time this little playdate was over.” Stiles said._

_“I could just kill you and take them back.” Deucallion stated, the smile never leaving his face._

_“You could try.” Came the response, but from Erica. Isaac and Boyd growled in agreement and Allison pulled her crossbow up and aimed, Stiles gripped a pouch of powdered Wolfsbane, it was his hail mary, he didn’t want to use it around his friends but if he needed to, he would. They were all ready. If they were all going down, they’d go down fighting._

_Stiles first spell was dissipating and he imagined if the Alpha’s had hackles they’d be rising. Things were moments away from bloody when a crash, rumble, roar rang out all at once. In the blink of an eye Derek was standing in front of them. Scott to his right._

_“Even think of touching him, and there won’t be enough plastic bags for the pieces I leave you in.” Derek growled low and threatening, fangs bared and claws ready. He seemed to pulse with power and Stiles could feel it radiating off of him. He wondered what it felt like to the Beta’s judging by the wide eyed glances that Isaac was throwing at him and Stiles it had to be an intense feeling._

_“A shame, I was really hoping you would join us.” Deucallion said, seeming to give a silent signal to Kali, the mutants, and Mr. Clean._

_Stiles took in his surroundings and whispered low. “Allison, I need you to shoot out the window, when I say.”_

_She nodded her head. With her confirmation Stiles sprung into action. He pulled out a jar of mountain ash and threw it at the Alpha’s feet. It surrounded them in a tight circle trapping them all._

_“That won’t hold us more than a few minutes, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.” Deucallion said, smile faltering a little._

_“I am. Boyd grab the water cooler jug over there.” He turned to Allison and nodded his head. The Alpha’s had already started pushing through the barrier. Boyd went to grab the massive jug of water as Allison let loose the bolt in her crossbow which effectively shattered the weather worn glass. Stiles silently thanked god for that, it had been a bit of a gamble. Boyd held the jug looking to Stiles for instruction. “Throw it at Mr. Murdock over there.” Boyd grinned at the joke, at least he got Stiles many references, even if he didn’t always appreciate them. Boyd tossed the jug like it were a water balloon and Deucallion slashed through it like it were one. It left them all soaked and pissed off as they continued to try and break the mountain ash line._

_“I’m gonna rip him apart.” Kali hissed._

_Stiles resisted the dozens of wet dog jokes shouted “Shield your eyes” and quickly muttered what he hoped was their salvation “Piorun spadnie zrobić indeksowania moich wrogów.” In a literal flash of crackling white blue light each of the Alpha’s was knocked out cold. The smell of ozone permeated the air and Stiles felt tingly all over. Everyone turned to look at Stiles eyes wide and jaws slack with disbelief, everyone except Derek who just quirked a quick grin, the smug bastard. Scott was about to say something when Stiles quickly cut him off, Alpha’s heal fast and none of them wanted to be around for when they woke up. “Talk later run now.”_

_\---_

The mission, albeit stressful, had been a success. They got their pack members back and in a surprise happy twist Derek had gotten his younger sister back. Stiles remembered the smile he had when he realized who she was. It was breathtaking in its beauty, half shy, with two little bunny teeth right at the front which despite the irony Stiles loved in a way that he probably shouldn’t. At least that was what he thought at the time. The Alpha Pack came back with a vengeance, but by the time they had re-grouped and began to make their plans. Jennifer Blake a.k.a Darach Bitch Supreme, showed up and everything went downhill for them fast.

Deucallion apparently killed Mr. Clean, also known as Ennis, for his Alpha power. Blake ended up poisoning Cora with Mistletoe, killed Kali in a way Stiles thought wasn’t painful enough, especially after the bitch shoved a pole through Derek’s Chest. The twins ended up helping out and joining the pack, they sacrificed their Alpha Sparks to save Cora’s life. Which was super cool of them and they will always be given cookies when Stiles has one of his bake-a-thons. Blake kidnapped Stiles’ dad, Mama McCall, and Chris Argent which threw Stiles into a bloodlust that could very well leave a werewolf quaking in its boots. Still Stiles focused on finding the Parental units while Derek and Scott dealt with the last Alpha and the Darach.

In the end it all got taken care of. Deucallion, no longer the ‘Demon Wolf’ (which totally pretentious by the way) had his sight back and was moving to an unclaimed part of the US to start anew. Ms. Blake was totally and completely and 100% d-e-a-d through the combined efforts of Deucallion and Peter, who would have thought. Parental Units had been saved and peace had returned to the land of Beacon Hills, so to speak.

All Stiles could think was that if they could get through all of that, if he had the ability to be the Big Gun and take out a Pack of Alpha’s in order for his pack to get the hell out of dodge. Then why was turning himself back into regular old familiar Stiles so hard. They had moved proverbial mountains, slain figurative dragons, why was this so god damn hard? He didn’t feel the heat of the tears as they rolled down his cheek. He only became aware of them as they were being brushed away.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Was all Derek said, is steely jade eyes begging Stiles for an answer without him needing to say a word. His hands were a warm tingle against Stiles’ cheeks and Stiles couldn’t help leaning into them. “Why can’t I undo this? It’s all wrong, I’m all wrong.” He wished Derek had the answer with every ounce of himself he wished that. Still he knew the wolf didn’t.

“Stiles, there is nothing wrong with you. It doesn’t matter that you may happen to be a little different right now…” Derek started but of course Stiles being Stiles couldn’t help but interrupt.

“A little different! I think that’s a bit of an understatement.” Stiles groused.

“My point is that you will always be Stiles, and I happen to think that Stiles is pretty damn great. Despite your incessant need to drive me bonkers.” Derek said his face only centimeters away from Stiles’.

“Why?” Stiles asked despite being given an answer no more than a day ago.

“Just because.” Was all Derek said before his lips were pressing soft but firm to Stiles’. All at once Stiles body became a livewire tingling from his toes to his hair and vibrating with a want the he had locked away for so long. His arms wrapped around Derek’s neck as he leapt into the kiss. Derek pulled him in by the waist and their bodies seemed to meld together in a perfectly balanced harmony. It was a total cliché, but neither of them cared because in this one brief moment all they had to focus on was each other.

**_‘CLICK’_ **

The loud sound effect of a camera shutter echoed through the quiet room pulling them each out of there blissful co-existence. It was the distinct sound of someone’s phone taking a picture. They turned to see Scott obviously pleased with himself. Scott typed away at his phone and the distinct whoosh of a message being sent sounded almost a dozen times. He looked up at them and chuckled slightly.

“Sorry, I needed to share that disgusting moment with the rest of the pack. Lydia and Erica will be very pleased.” Scott muttered as he gathered his things. “I’m going to go home now, no need for me to be here any longer.” Scott said over his shoulders giving Stiles a wink as he walked to the door.

“What, Scott I still need your help with this research.” Stiles said, getting up in a fumbling mass of familiar limbs.

“No you don’t.” Scott called back followed by the sound of the front door opening and closing.

Stiles, speechless, turned back to Derek who hadn’t moved. “What the hell does that mean? Three sets of eyes are always better than two. Why are you looking at me like I sprouted a second head?”

Derek was slack jawed and wide eyed for a minute before he smiled wide and excited, he got up and half rushed to Stiles turning the boy around to face the mirror that hung from his door. Stiles looked and didn’t really see what the big deal was it was just his reflection.

“It’s just my reflec…OH MY GOD IT’S MY REFLECTION!” He turned around and leapt up wrapping his legs around Derek and kissing him hard. He didn’t really bother much with finesse or seduction he was too damn excited. Somehow he had turned back, he was himself again. He was ecstatic and apparently so was Derek, the kiss turned hot with want and desire as Derek pushed Stiles up against the wall and let his hands roam everywhere.

Before anything could get really intense though Stiles wanted, needed, to change back into normal clothes. When he came back he asked Derek “So, oh mighty Alpha. When do I get to play with your big gun?” Derek flushed a violent shade of red, his eyes shifting, and a growl reverberating through Stiles room.

“When you’re legal Stiles.” Derek said in that tone that most definitely meant it was not on the table for discussion. Still Stiles could work with that, he had always enjoyed teasing Derek, this was just a brand new way to do it.

“Oh, well that’s alright. I’ll just think about playing with yours when I’m playing with mine.” Stiles said with a smirk and a twist of his eyebrow. Derek growled again and turned away from Stiles trying to discreetly adjust himself, it didn’t work.

“I’m need to head home before you say something that makes me lose control. You know we’re going to talk to Deaton about this.” Derek said, going business Alpha on him.

Stiles nodded, he figured talking to the master cryptic was a given at this point.

“You probably have a dozen messages by now. It’s been going off non-stop.” Derek said gesturing towards Stiles phone. Stiles crossed to it and picked it up as Derek made his way to the window, he opened the window and began to duck out when Stiles stopped him with a hand on the shoulder. He remembered the last time he had done that and it felt like Derek was going to rip his arm off. Stiles leaned in quick and gave Derek a quick chaste peck on the lips before taking a step back and saying. “I’ll see you later.”

Derek nodded once sharp and quick and very Derek in fashion. “Yes you will.” With that Derek was gone into the dark of nightfall. Stiles had apparently lost all track of time. He glanced down at his phone and checked his messages.

**SCOTT: I may have sent that picture to everyone in the pack, sorry. Not sorry.**

**ERICA: OMG finally you two have a round of Tonsel-Hockey. You will dish later, no negotiation or Allison, Lydia and I will tie you down and force you to talk.**

**LYDIA: What Erica said.**

**JAX: W2G Stillinski! Even a spaz like you can score.**

**BOYD: GJ Man.**

**DANNY: Your cousin? Miguel? Is this why you asked me if you were attractive?**

**ALLISON: I died from cuteness, you guys are cute. How are you two that cute!**

**E-TWIN: How exactly does Derek look like a Miguel? Congrats btw!**

**A-Twin: I was just subjected to so much squealing by Ethan and Danny. Congrats.**

**Isaac: So Derek just got home with the biggest grin on his face, whatever you did do it every night okay!**

**To ALL: I will not be baking cookies for you nosy jerks for the next 4 weeks.**

**From ALL: DUDE!**

Stiles chuckled to himself as he flopped on the bed and passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I literally lost all sense of trajectory with this story at one point. That's what happens when you have to walk away for so long I guess. Anyways. There is going to be an epilogue after this one. I can't leave it unfinished but I know how ridiculous it has gotten. So yeah!


End file.
